Process

"I'm not going to say that God is on our side, but that we are on God's side"
-John Kerry

I'm at my aunt and uncles house until Friday. All this week I've been introduced...as it were, to the Democratic national convention. Which makes since considering they're both democrats. Today I caught the last half of Kerry's speech about his role as a President. This qoute and what he said about his religion caught my attention. But this particularlly. I don't like how he put this. now, granted I'm not a democrat, but I'm not a republican either. There's most likely things that will rub me the wrong way with Bush's speech. But this sentence says to me that American's are equal to God and we get to decide if we're on God's side or not. Maybe I'm taking this the wrong way...but that's what it says to me.

Why do we even have to have a president? It's irritating...especially coming from a house that has one parent in each political party. It's sickening how one conversation about stupid poiltics can ruin a whole afternoon or night. How one mention of political issues (gay marriage, middle class, social security) can enrage so many people. Quite frankly, its disgusting. I hate it. I hate the problems it causes and the people it divides.

Maybe I won't even watch the republican convention to see if anything strikes me...Let me rephrase that- I won't.

It figures that something you don't want to happen turns out to be a good thing. God's just too smart for us...Too bad i can't get some of that genius for my Pre-Calculus homework...

Heather has been a blessing in my life...today I and a friend spent two hours talking about things that we struggle with...and i realized that Heather is a true blessing. I've always been thankful that she's come to our Youth Group, but today I know God sent her to us for a particular reason...And I thank Him for that.

I always feel bad for my old bible when I get a new one...

I got a new study bible last christmas I think...or was it at my birthday? i can't remember...but it was everything that I wanted...except the weight (it feels like I'm workin out when ever i carry it!) But I haven't used my old one...in months.

I feel sad for it.

Like it's not being loved enough...

I have notes from sermons by P. John, Jeremy, Colby and Darrel...I think there's one by James...I have notes that I wrote on my favorite verses, encouraging notes from my friends that have things to do with verses...I have my bullitin from Kathy's funeral and Rob's leaving party...the slip we got when the Church decided James and Heather were coming...Letters to God, songs that corrispond with verses...

But in my new one...I have drawings and a couple sermon notes...

It doesn't seem the same! James said that if you want to see what someone is really like and what their thoughts really are- look in their bible. It's like a journal!

Maybe i should just use my study bible for studing...and take my bible everywhere else...

Jeez...took me long enough to figure that out.

It's not about perfection; it's about our intimacy with God, or our connection, our relationship with God. Once we get through that, once we realize that we can be imperfect, flawed, broken; those kinds of things are the ingredients of spirituality. - Mike Yaconelli

Awesome qoute. James might've used it, but i honestly don't remember. But this is truthfully my life in a nut shell. I always thought you had to always be committed to praying EVERYDAY and reading your bible EVERYDAY...and if you skip a day...UHP! You're in trouble! And though these things do really incredibly help our realtionship, doesn't mean they MAKE my relationship with God...

At youth conventions I feel really...attacked. They do altar calls and ask the crowd all these questions like if they've doubted God and things like that...and I always feel myself saying 'yes' to every question...and I'm already a CHRISTIAN! So I never go up...but when I talked to Heather i found out I'm just vulnerable...I don't have a very high opinion of myself as a Christian...and those youth rallies just ATTACK ME spiritually...which is kinda messed up.

But this qoute makes me think of a true christian...one that isn't perfect...one that I am. That's encouaging!

Yay for Mike Yaconelli!

I think I spelled that right...but it's german, and I don't TAKE german...I heard this from Micah and Jordan and kept saying it over and over thinking it meant, "You dumb"  but...as it turned out it meant something completely different which I don't care on sharing with you all.  Anyways- the real reason that I made this post is because...I feel I can live up to this phrase really well.  And the reason for that is that I think I know everything one day and there's nothing more I can learn...and then, BAM- a stroke of genius...or rather someone elses stroke of genius hits me and it's takes me a long time to chew and swallow.  The other day someone made me ask for something that I didn't really NEED to ask for, but they made me anyway...but then maybe a half an hour later I realized that was most likely a good lesson in humilty.  That I shouldn't just ASSUME i get things, but either ask or think about if I need it... Jeez.  You'd think I'd know by now.

So I finally found out why I didn't like the fourth of the July thing! Thanks to James and the people who wrote an incrediable article, I know. I'm an expatriate!

“Expatriate” - someone who lives as a non-citizen in a country not their own.

We are, all of us who know Christ, expatriates- living for a time in a foreign country. We can enjoy it, but if we ever stop feeling homesick, we are in trouble.

So, next Fourth of July, go ahead and light off some fireworks, thank God for the freedoms you have, enjoy a nice parade or picnic… but maybe leave the Star-Spangled Banner out of the worship set, okay?

Awesome article, I didn't get a chance to see who wrote it, but you all should check it out- http://www.opensourcetheology.net/node/view/391

(i tried the whole 'weblink'...didn't work out too well. Just copy and paste)

So I was thinking about the fourth of july yesterday while I was at the beach...I know, a little late- but still. And is it bad if I don't have pride for my country? Freedom is cool and all, and I'm so thankful that I have it, but there's other things I would want to sing other than the National Athem...(jeez I need a spell checker)...But maybe..I'm just lazy. I enjoy seeing fireworks, but I would rather do other things than watch a bunch of fire and chemicals expolde in the air.

Maybe I'm being Cynical.

But is it such a crime to not enjoy your country's Independence Day?

Well went and saw Spiderman 2...finally. It couldn't have come soon enough. I absolutely LOVED IT! Special effects are neato. But then someone pointed out to me that through-out the whole movie there was no cursing or sexual innuendo's...which are so common in today's world.

The movie's on my the top of my list now.

James 1:2-3 says, "Consider it pure joy my brothers whenever you face trials of many kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverence."

I always used to hate this verse. Mostly because I didn't know how to do that. To be happy when I'm going through something that tears me apart. And I mean truely happy. I could fake it and answer my friends' questions with 'I'm fine' or be sarcastic and pretend to be happy...neither of these I'm sure is what it means. Or what God wants us to do. Wants me to do.

People say that God fills you with his love and it'll make you joyful...but is it wrong for me to say that it doesn't do that for me? Maybe I'm not allowing for him to fill me with joy when I'm going through something hard.

But the thing is...I don't know how to let God do that...

Man, I need therapy or something.

I hate being a girl. Why are the only two choices being a male and being clueless to girls or being a girl and being emotional all the time?

I'd rather be a dog.

Funny thing- I went to James' Blog today and got interested in the Johnny Baker blog...I went there- looked around, and saw something about the top 100 spiritual movies...Sounded interesting so I went to the sight and saw all these movies which I never thought would be spiritual! Like...Fight Club, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Groundhog Day...it just seemed too weird!

But then it hit me, these movies may be "spiritual" but being "spiritual" doesn't mean it's "Godly" or following any religion. It's funny how obvious things such as this can hit you at an unexpected moment.